8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize