Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
