I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
