You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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