You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
