I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
