is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
