I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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