break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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