you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
