So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
