sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
third nipple confirmed
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
