how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
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