I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.