I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!