Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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