Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize