If that was your dad, he is hot
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
