You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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