I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize