Where did you get a picture of my penis
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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