he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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