happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
