Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
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I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
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The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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