we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize