Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
