I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
