riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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