I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
