So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
