this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
