Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
