When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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