So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
