Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
