It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
If that was your dad, he is hot
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
