Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
