does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
