Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
