Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
not ubering you a puppy
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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