Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
