therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Randomize