i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
