Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
