in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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