she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
