so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
