Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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