y did u give ur computer a hand job?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
