I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
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