Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
