I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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