He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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