I need help removing her.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize