Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize