think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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