The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
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I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
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I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I love you.
Bad choice
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