He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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