I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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