Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
