I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
