God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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